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Writer's pictureDaren Gillingham

Ogres

Ogres are disgusting monsters to say the least! They vary in size depending on breed, age, and other unknown factors. Some are just above seven feet tall, but most are much larger than that. Regardless of size, ogres are supernaturally strong. Larger ones just tend to be even stronger.

They are fearsome brutes indeed, and many a good knight has been laid low by these creatures. Ogres often have discolored skin with splotches of different colors, random patches of hair all over their body, boils, lumps, and other deformities that only add to their repulsive appearance.

Ogres have disproportionately large heads, and their mouths are jammed full of crooked teeth. As for what an ogre eats?

Anything and everything.

They are particularly fond of eating other sentient creatures, however. Especially alive.

It’s unclear whether they just enjoy inflicting the pain and suffering or genuinely enjoy the taste itself. Or both.

Ogres are as hideous inside as they are outside. They’re often not very intelligent, but they can be. Either way though, they’re well known for playing the fool and leading others to their own undoing. Much like goblins, they are adept at deceit and trickery.

Ogres get along very poorly with each other, and for this reason, most avoid one another. There are still some ogre communities, but much like goblin ones… they aren’t fun places to be. Not even for ogres.

Ogres seek to dominate, subjugate, and devour everything they come across. They are well known for taking over goblin clans and using the goblins to gather food and treasure for them.

Ogres have a voracious appetite, and often eat the goblins who bring them food as well.

Ogres sometimes wear armor and use well-made weapons, but it’s rare for them to come across anyone who will make it for them. As such, they are more often clothed in hides and carrying large branches or the trunks of trees as clubs.

They are deadly enemies and evil to the core.

Much like goblins, many kingdoms have a kill on sight rule regarding ogres.

Thankfully, they don’t breed nearly as quickly as goblins do, or we’d surely be overrun.

It’s often been pointed out by wizards that the hideous appearance of ogres and even their appetites, which at times seem to torment them, might be the result of a curse. There’s no known evidence to support this theory, but it is worth considering.

Perhaps at one time someone was cursed, and transformed into the first ogre. If so, it was done long ago as ogres have been mentioned in texts about The Great War.

Given their immense size, there have also been theories floating around that ogres may, in fact, be the giants of old. Even the largest ogre isn’t as big as the giants were reported to be, but people have always had a penchant for exaggeration.

However, both ogres and giants were mentioned as separate races in texts dating back to The Great War, so I’m inclined to disagree with this particular theory.

As I often do, I’ll now briefly discuss the best way to deal with an ogre. There is, of course, might of arms and magic. This is, I believe, the best way. The only good ogre is a dead ogre as they say.

However, should you encounter one on your travels you likely won’t have an army at your back, so how then should you deal with them?

The best way is to offer them something they want and to convince them that it’s better to keep you alive.

Offering them the food in your pack might be a start, but won’t save your life. After all, they won’t be satisfied by your meager rations and will eat you as well.

The reports of those who have survived encounters with ogres, share some common details that may prove helpful though.

Many of the survivors convinced the ogre that they would hunt, gather, cook, or otherwise serve the ogre in a way that made keeping them around beneficial. They would then avoid and placate the ogre as much as possible. Particularly when the monster was hungry.

Gradually, they would gain additional freedoms. Saying they needed to roam further to hunt for the ogre or some other excuse. Then, when they got the chance, they’d escape.

Should you be among the lucky few to escape with your life, make sure to give the location of the ogre to the proper authorities to deal with. Not only is it the law in many places, but you wouldn’t want the ogre to follow you and punish you for your disobedience would you?

Keep in mind, that while elves, dwarves, humans, and many other races are hesitant to like or even trust one another these days… the threat of an ogre has a habit of uniting folk. Don’t be afraid to tell them about the presence of an ogre nearby.

Just make sure you don’t run to goblins or some other despicable creature for help. Out of the frying pan and into the fire and all that.


- Nicholas Wolfram, Professor of Monsterology at Lestria University

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